I know men sometimes need space for themselves to be men. We spent the night together Wednesday, we spoke Thursday. We just chatted and then swapped numbers. Compare it to two others who disappeared with no explanation- took me months and im still not completely over one of them. So, what to text him when he vanishes from your life without giving you any explanation? I know it makes me angry and hurts because it is so disrespectful. He sent me a msg weeks later thanking me for the follow. I know when someone is laying it on thick. But anyway we eventually considered our relationship as a bf gf type of relationship and we were exited to see each other. xxx. Let them wonder what youre so happy about and why youre so happy without them. Honestly I would be fine if HE hadnt been the one to get emotional first. But when he text me or he call me, he act like everything is fine after he vanished. Long story short, met this guy a month ago. I wrote him twice, but sad to say I didnt got any answer. He did a lot of future talk and would tell me he really liked me.He tried to see me as frequently as possible and we would text practically every day with a few phone calls in between. He said he couldnt and then I gave up. What about us? I HAVE to tell him about this really funny thing that happened! Enjoy the dating scene. I met this guy 5years ago. Get rid of the trash! i wish this made me stronger but in fact it still hurts.. hope something better is waiting out there. Man, I really miss my husband! This way your last memory of him isnt a whining, needy insecure man, just someone in pursuit of someone else who values his company and meets his needs. But I cant help feeling If he wanted to be with me, he would be right? And lately I noticed that he was always in bad mood every time I met him. We had that conversation many times. Any advice on how to handle this? I would text him a checking in text about once a month for a few months. A person reaching out to me, and I feel like I cant answer them. I would simply like a conversation with him to have some insight as to what happened and to have some closure! I will kiss my prince one day. and then as he called me again later that day he said and I quote: you know you have teen age boys and I too, I wish you all the best in the world, I will always be there whenever you need me, goodluck and then he left. People should treat others as they want. Because here is the absolute truth: we teach others how to treat us by the treatment were willing to accept. He still claims to have feelings for me but there is still that undeniable shift in communication. What now??? I didnt contact him, instead I made valentine plans with someone else lucky Im quite attractive and have tons of options. He had not had a relationship in 2 years and didnt even date anyone but me since then. Youre judging this woman based on the small picture.making a long story short in a very negative way that is not the least bit empowering. I went on a quest to find my own answers. When you meet the perfect guy, the last thing you want to happen is for him to ghost you. Updated January 17, 2023 by Callisto Adams Leave a Comment. After a few months of dating I introduced him to all my family and he came to my cousins wedding. You dont choose me, I choose you.NEXT!! We agreed on 3 months. I know I mustnt take it personally, but still it hurts because I feel like he didnt really mean it when he told me what a great girl I am :(, Hi I am new to this dating thing, we were used to doing it the old fashion way before the Internet was around. Those are concrete things she can work on. Either way, he either chose the easy way out by disappearing, or hes stepping his game up in an attempt to make you obsessed with him. What happened here, Ill never know. I sent him a long message consoling him saying how I hope everything is ok but he never replied back. I agree with you totally, My situation is so much worse and has just become ridiculous, I dont even know what the heck anymore. By Sunday night, I asked if he thought I should leave. It was so real for me, and I thought it was real for him too. I think if more people realized that LOVE absolutely-must-come-first before ANY ideas about marriage or the rest of your life, people would be a lot happier. I did tried to understand. 2. 1.he is above your league. the second and third time made me feel ALMOST sad for him. For now focusing on me and the betterment of my life. Take the signs and guard our hearts a little better next time. Im not a pushy person, and this isnt something I suggested at all it was all him. You are least know why. After 3 years of very challenging relationship, my fianc and I split temporarily ( or at least thats what I thought) because I couldnt stay overseas with him, and I had no money left and either a job in Spain. Guys are fantastic conmen. If youre busy or youre not into it or whatever, thats fine. I cant help it, I didnt know I was going to get a msg from someone saying hi or how have you been, etc. Couple weeks went by and I texted him are if hes ok and nothing so two weeks after that I trxted politely that whatever hes chosen I wish him well. Good luck, I am thinking of you! As he walked me to the parking station he kissed me passionately again. Anything . Anyways He told me he had to leave for the weekend so wouldnt be aroud and have not heard from him since and its been 3 days! Why would you want to be with a guy who doesnt want to be with you anyway? No man worth anything is going to commit to you. How I deal with it? Reading all of these heartfelt stories has really made me think! Right or wrong, single moms have a difficult time on the dating scene. was the gift meant to say good bye? We went out for a meal about 3 weeks ago, and decided that we would like to see each other again. Hey, I can tell youre so preoccupied with things, which is fine. I have dated countless people.. enough to aboid encounters with those personalities I know I wont have a depth of connection with. Help me sisters, i met this guy a week ago at my work. No sex. One month ago, I thought I was in a relationship with a man I would someday call my husband. I have never judged him for anything, I just enjoyed being with him and I love him. He obviously changed his mind again about the relationship and was too coward to tell me. He wanted to meet me on a sunday morning but he was a no show. It is really that simple. Conversations nothing too too Some specialists take silent treatment to be an emotional abuse. my heart is broken, even though I know Im better off, that action completely made me feel that I meant absolutely nothing to him at all and I felt used and like a piece of trash to be discarded. I dont think hes that type of guy and I know that would be a terrible lie to tell someone but I cant help but wonder. I am grateful he showed me that I could love again, but now I think I have lost all trust in people,and feel that even though I had worked on my neediness issues during the break, and held the belief that all he wanted was to give me time to reflect on my behavior as well as his own feelings, but now Im afraid this experience has shown that my insecurities were somewhat founded. That being said, we believe in you and we are here to support you in making the changes you want for your life and giving you methods, strategies, and ideas that will help move you in the direction of your dream. I am pretty happy as I am, a stable base is most important and not actively seeking men, was very content to just concentrate on business. I dont ever over-do texting or calling, simply because Im busy and dont really have time for technology- its just my (type B/ laid back) personality. I had just got out of a serious relationship and didnt want anything serious. Hours go by, days, and I realize, I need this space for me. When a guy disappears without an explanation, you can text him what you expect from him. I figured he probably does this all the time and I just fell for the scam. so.. Sabrina is right :), OMG!! I havent heard from him since. Im gonna feel better in no time, I hope. He says yeah he needs to get back to dinner. Im a guy and I did that all the time, although not for the reasons mentioned here. You do deserve the best and you will find it.good luck dear!! 3 turned intimate. If he is busy Im fine, but he doesnt. But like all women you cant get over something that was really good and you cant let go because it was a good relationship youve had from other guys. Just get out there and do something about it! We were great, everyone thought, and we spent almost a month in loving bliss. His phone went straight to voicemail, I texted him, no reply.My housemate then called his phone and it went straight to voicemail aswell. I email him to say good luck with a work thing that was coming up.nothingzero contact from him. I hope youre doing well. Then he asked when we will see and I answered Not today and I finished texting me back Okei, you tell me when. A guy did this to mewhy string me along? Ive been heartbroken for the first time only recently and its devastating so I feel like I need to hug anyone going through it. 2. When the guy who disappears suddenly makes a reappearance by texting you, youre now left with another puzzling question in your head: What should I do?! Ive just had this happen to me again (first time was my last relationship, over 10 years agoIve only sporadically dated since then). He texts me, emails me, says Im amazing, but doesnt try and see me again though he stayed 2 more days in my town. I dont care who it is, friends, Direct tv, whoever, lol I dont like it when people dont contact me back. I told him i knew he was never going to contact me again. Thank you and good luck! This article is sooooooooooo true and so well summarized. He will be on top of everything. I would love to spend more time with you to see how we get along but if thats not a part of your plan, then I dont want to waste my time. he found my profile on professional network and added me. after the first time i completely lost myself. He said he would make it up to me the next day. Three years is a long time to just break up over a text. Thursday he couldnt wait to come home to me and Friday he acted like I never existed.it just makes no sense to me. This started weighing on me after a while. Ive had a similar situation. By morning there was a vague fumble which ended up with my hand down his pants. He never once showed me any of his past warmth such as reaching to touch me etc, while I was there. I came off like a drunk bitch in front of his acquaintances. I too am going through the ghosting of a guy i met.. His 32, am 27. Look its 2013. It literally makes no sense. A form of reassuring himself that youre also investing in the relationship. Once again he opened up my snap but never responded to my first or second text. He is sure to keep coming back for more when you boost his ego. He is cute but not the hottest but I have always been insecure and I dont even care about looks just the chemistry and how much I liked him and how much I cared for him and I felt Never once does a Woman ask what do I bring to the table? But maybe if you give him space like he said he will come around Just keep doing things to keep you busy and avoid waiting around for him to call. 2. Wanted to know every man who messaged me and what they said, etc. I am so sorry;(. I think he was looking for a way out. Now that hes shown you how little he really appreciated you, its time for you to show him your back. He also treated me as if I am his girlfriend and was perfectly treating me. I have adored him since we met 15 momts ago. Its okay for them to distract us when they feel like it. Weve had numerous conversations about this. i dont understand. Im maybe a 7.5 or an 8. I do think that he didnt confront me cause he was playing the game, that he would keep me in his back pocket, while he is figuring things out. You continued to contact him and have sex with him after he officially dumped you by text, which makes you a whole lot psycho. After a while I met him and he seemed just as nice as he did online. I started to feel like I had to message him first all the time. At first I thought it was just he was busy. So that night the last thing he said to me was a text message saying he missed me and to send him a picture. Like Oprah says, The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them. My bet is that this isnt the first time hes been flighty towards you. etc. How do I keep him interested in me without trying too hard but without letting him forget me by just not texting him at all? I texted him the next day telling him that I had a nice time and that I enjoyed his company and he answered somthing like Are you serious? Ever noticed how a guy ghosts you and then suddenly maybe two or three months later he randomly calls you? I have sent a few messages and called since and nothing. They dont keep on deliberately meeting other people to make sure they have shopped around for the best deal. at the end i decided that the best thing would be to cut him off completely from any media coz you can not live your life bound to someone who does not really want to be with you. I asked him his schedule for the week and when we could get together (knowing I had the intention of asking him in person what was going on)and he just ignored the question and talked about his work. If you feel like sharing a problematic thought, Im here to listen without judgment. Hes not worthy and/or not really into you and not excited to carry on seeing you. Until that night. What is known is that you werent very important to him. He didnt say anything and I didnt say anything. Ive decided to not contact him anymore, let him come to me. Reply Link. He was always so communicative, so I really just want to know WHY? Even if hes scared she may find out, he could call me from a work phone or someone elses phone. He writes back apologizing, saying Im awesome but he cant do this anymore and he is not ready to offer anything. Why would you be on a dating sure if you arent ready?? We used to text at least once daily, now it has been 6 days. his answer was suddenly emotionless and official and he told me he will not be at home that time. He professed his love to me daily. I did get back on Facebook after a couple of weeks of silence and I noticed he removed me from his friends list. But a week b4 we had a really bonding text back n forth. I went through the EXACT same thing with a guy, and it turned out there was someone else in his life and I was the girl on the side. But the only thing to do now is to move on. Apparently he could care less if Im upset, mad, hurt, left wondering what happened. Also how things were so amazing between us. After about a week, I did attempt to contact him, and he told me he was on the phone with someone else but would call me a half hour later. :P we started talking. I then was being goofy one night and had sent him a text thinking everything is grand and his response was who is this? Now here is my question Ladies and Gentlemen why when everything seemed to be fine and normal would he delete my number? Lots in common, laugh, have fun together. He seemed down to earth and nice. I dont know. Its been 3 days since contact. And the worst thing is you know he is ok and not losing any sleep at night but your just fighting to make it through another day. I have well paying job, a home, a vehicle and make my own decent money, so not looking for hand outs, I dont have any issues with my kids father and Im a pretty positive person. But he was making plans to go for a trip the other weekend (But never mentioned that we are gonna celebrate my birthday). He's excited about you and can imagine a future together. This is why people shouldnt date, as in, go on a ceaseless string of random dates with one dude after another. He slowly backed off after that and then eventually disappeared. A week later, he initiated a second date and proposed to do it on Sunday. I know him! Its really done a number on my confidence because let me tell you, I truly trusted thi mans character and would have never thought him capable if something so cruel and immature. I played it cool didnt go running to him, but made sure he knew I was interested. One of them talked to me for hours and then disappeared only to contact me back like 2 months later by asking me if I wanted to go out to dinner and a movie. I did send a final email and told him I simply cannot understand why he did not tell me that he did not want to see me anymore and that I would never do something so inconsiderate to someone that I told I loved and cared for. We kept it discreet as it would be the talk of the town in my small city if people found out and it was only our close friends who knew. Dont contact him anymore. Amy well said. We had been dating for about 4 mos. Sometimes we just invite in the Trojan Horse. Theres no need to feel prickly about it. So I snapchatted him at midnight and then went to sleep. it was an awesome first date, wonderful kiss at the end, we had a great time. I told myself maybe he fell asleep and he answer as soon as he can. And everything seems to be going great. Girls dont like having the breakup conversation and guys absolutely despise it. He has not been in a relationship where he said he felt like he wanted to marry the person except for one girl who he was friends It's like I don't exist. Like me, he was anxious if he didnt hear from me for a day, our lives didnt feel complete without that contact, and our meeting went so well after a year of talking, I was really in love with him, and he was too (I think!he was the one who fell first) It is now 2 months since he asked for a break and not a word, its like he has deleted me from his life. Every time I suggested to meet up he had an excuse. It got to be that I was initiating all the text. removed me from his social network accounts and ignored my messages. Looking backwards or maybe on your current experiences what would you say would be the best for a girl who cares about a guy like you to do? When he disappears and you dont want to message him but you also dont want to spend days thinking about him, is there something else you can do? He initiated a hang out and asked for my address to pick me up, said he was about to leave annnnddddddddd nothing. So I checked up on one of his social media profiles. That can not be about me. i know it was a lot of money that you spend on ticket. With me I got kiss and a see you in the morning then he vanished. After some times, somethings changed. I wouldnt say Im at all clingy or overly emotional. Yes, Im serious. Since then things were not the same. But I really dont care! Its been almost 2 weeks now. My goodbye email was really nice. Those who are not will fade and disappear. If the silence precedes, you know better. Do you accuse him straight away? I have absolutely NO idea what happened or why! I allowed him to sweet talk me back and tried to give him another chance. Giving him compliments will not only boost his fiery ego and fill his . Thats why my recommendation is to hang out as friends and get addicted to each others company, become genuinely interested in each other, then if the attraction is strong you can talk more openly about pursuing something and be honest about whether either of you are going to keep serial dating. I didnt have to fight or argue with him, there was no drama. She may take that as a lesson moving forward in her interactions with people; to actually listen. Im confused. We are long distance and its been a few months and weve seen eachother many times. Hes that friendly Canadian and Im just a shy Asian girl. Ok so Guys dissapearing on me has happened to me twice in less than 6 months. His fickelness so early is a bad sign. Dont waste another thought on him and his ex girlfriend. I just think you cant expect too much from people, especially those you have just met, hooked up with a few weeks ago or have known even for a few months. If you cant meet them, feel them, cuddle them etc.. Whats the point? He said this would be the evening we would either discuss whether it was a make or break . I had been dating this guys for almost two months, we were not official but he gave me every reason to believe we were getting serious. It was odd. If a man does this, he is a total coward. We finally decide to meet again a few days ago but he only could late at night and the stupid me (that wanted to see him) accepted what really looked like a booty call. Sorry, I am no walkover and will not let any man give me a date to meet him without discussing it with me first, so I told him, sorry tied up tomorrow, but is Wed or Thurs good for you? I have a deep understanding of masculine and feminine psychology, the biological influences that shape our relationships today, and the ways people communicate their romantic feelings and intentions. This is really great advice for dealing with the facts and the damage. Getting a text from your ex might bring up a lot of emotions depending on how you ended things. Just look around all you see anymore is texting, texting, texting. Few weeks more, we hang out a lot and even had intimate times together. You did the wrong thing. If you've decided that you want to text him back. but her conversation skills were HORRIBLE. Presents for his lil nephews cas they always talked to me over the phone and asked for kids stuff and hed always joke about how I never get them I have accepted the situation, the reality. Ive done this myself when at that introduction stage. The city I dropped him If theyre interest in you is flattery over the fact that you are interested in them, they are shallow, insecure, and petty. From text msgs to phone calls that last hours and hours. Its only been a few days, to be honest, but I am so proud of myself for keeping a tight reign my dignity despite my anger and disappointment at being let down. You are an empty shell of a man. then I stop intiating contact, I stop asking him out, for sure I stop dating him. He wasnt for her. Told me about his work issues and finances he needs to fix. ?, It was going so well and I had to spoil it all by texting him on Sundayanyway he answered quickly perhaps because he was already online and the conversation went fine, flirty, like everything was going fine and infact it got a little inappropriateI think he was checking to see if he could get a sex chat out of me but I am not sure, I smartly sidestepped the situation while still being friendly since I dont want to set some sort of precedent for any possible relationship we might have in the future, ..jeezMenI think he is feeling me out, checking if I will be open to some possible FWB situation in the future. Then I got a grip and stopped texting him. Did you get to see the last episode of GOT? The day you have a daughter and this happens to her. Apparently (as those comments show) many men like to do a ghosting act, but most of men are normal and able to communicate like any normal person does, to say goodbye, explain things etc. I was just ghosted yesterday. By New years eve, I was in bliss and things were still going pretty good. He knows where to find me if hes still interested. Says he misses me. When I asked him if things were okay and that when i noticed he was getting distant I was willing to give him space, he asked me why I was giving him spaced and that he liked hearing from me. I feel like its other things that I cannot control in his life and maybe the distance is too much for him or he could just be being a jerk, I dont know. The distance obviously stopped anything developing but now hes completely disappeared out of my life and I cant adjust to it. I asked him why he cant even call me. Is he happy with his ex? This pain is so deep and Im mad that I shared so much of myself with him. Hej [name]. for sure I told him I am busy. Sorry its long and confusing but I tried to give as much information as possible. It would have been nice to have learned he was done from him, and not radio silence. I tried to message him, it came back BLOCKED (he blocked me). As a consequence, here we are another ghosting act. Recognize him for the mean spirited person he is. she was a 9 when i met her now shes a 6 at most im noticing physical details i dont like and i realize this is because my attraction to her personality is slipping. I keep thinking about what happened. The very next day I pick myself up and end the realtionship for good via text. I didnt want to involve my family or friends just as yet. I thought he was going to cancel but he didnt. Ghosting as a method for anything that goes wrong in a relationship is something that I definitely cannot accept. On the third month, I just felt I needed to know what he was up to. He sent very mixed signals during our last conversation. My current bf whom I love and respect did this to an ex once. I thought that maybe I had acted a bit harshly so suggested he looked me up on FB again, which he did. Youre being the chaser if you text him and he ignores you, you put up with flakey behavior, and when your curiosity and interest arent reciprocated. So a shoddy treatment of me from someone who claims to love me is not on. Does anyone have insights? Made no sense. I never heard another word from him, that was 6 days ago. I feel for everyone going through this ghosting experience. Met a guy through online site. Just had this happen to me, and Im so confused! We got along great. Agree with that completely. Well, a few weeks ago he was having a few issues going on with his older daughter and our conversations were getting less and less. He clearly has issues, and you dont need his issues to become your issues. Do you ever regret writing the letter? 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