Is Your Boyfriend's Mother Ruining Your Relationship? His answer was, Havent I been patient enough? He said he would change, but he said that before. Should I leave? I just dont feel like he loves me , why am I with him & what is he not getting ? I guess what im really confused about is, Is he really just being comfortable or is he thinking that i would never leave him ( he knows) so it dosent matter how he treats me or how much effort he puts in? he said he had been trying to email me but i dont rlly believe it I never got anything. Psychologically, the pressure was destroying me. I realize sooner or later if things dont get better (which it seems hes going out of the way to prevent from happening) Ill have to face the unimaginable possibilty of having really lost the man of my dreams and move on. I couldnt reciprocate kisses or hugs. We havent been fighting everyday. One thing I have learnt over the years is that we shouldnt let our kindness be a weakness in front of men. Its hard to deal with a person who slowly neglects you emotionally. I didnt see him so I thought maybe he didnt want to show up. im still giving him a 100 up till today. Now, what do I *do*? He talks but does not deliver. He dismisses your emotions. For the past year and a half he stopped being aggressive after a night out of drinking. Weve been together for 2 years or so. What Im gonna do? ? line and starts listing all the nice things he did recently. I am very confused and angry at myself because I know he wasnt like that in his previous relationship endeavors. My boyfriend of 3 years and I broke up recently, but within a few days, he decided he wanted to get back together to work things out. I thought after he quit his job he would have no excuse, but now he just puts even more time into video games. If you do his laundry, stop. Thats Progress! He does not take me out for surprise outings or does not plan anything for us to do as a couple, but still i do not complain much about that. This weekend I called for a break, and told him we should spend time apart. Doing this you will find out more about yourself. My boyfriend and I have been dating for three months. I love him more than ever and I know I made the biggest mistake of my life. Would you be better off without him? His mom, so sweet and caring, once scolded me because I refused to go on a trip with him. he may also feel that you do not put enough energy into him. This leaves us hanging on in hopes they will be that guy again. I guess subconsciously I acted that way because hes quite lazy and I didnt want to cut him any slack in fear that he would put in less effort to maintain the long distance. Like hes not gonna change. I dont know how much longer I can go with it. He is a very patient and calm person. I realize ,Im no cup of tea at times either but I never lied, cheated or left him in the dark .I feel incredibly cheated by the amount of time I spent culturing and cultivating a better life for him so that he may go impress someone else because of what I had endured dealing with his crumbs of affection why is it with men its all up your ass or nothing at all where is the balanced gentleman I so crave ? Its like he wants to cause as much damage as he can verbally to win and I dont get it. Coming to the realization that a partner is no longer emotionally invested in your commitment isn't an easy pill to swallow, and it's definitely not something to ignore. Never any action. Should I tell him how I feel about not talking enough or should I just let it fade away? I bought so much things to do for his birthday . But he still makes no effort in even recognizing relationship milestones like anniversaries, but he has done romantic things for the girl he chased for 6 years. Around this same time, I decided to download the dating app bumble to see where it would take me. He starts fights or creates conflict for no reason then blames me. He also uses really unfair arguments when fighting, like things I never mentioned or meant. I moved across the world during the honey moon phase of our relationship. is dealing with the pressure of having other things on their mind, such as an achingly difficult work project or personal and/or familial issues that sap them of the energy to deal with little else. Do I let this person disrespect my boundary? but when you asked him he keep saying i dont hate you i hate your attitude sometimes. Please tell me whatbi should do. Hes now making $175k a year plus an extra $5000/mo retainer as a consultant with his old job. Sam I think you should be honest with your girlfriend and tell her this. He said hes not going through something. For the first year or two with him, I never had any problems with needing reassurance and words of affirmation from him because he always did it so well. Then keep being the fabulous person that you are. He say that he dosnt want to sex with me. Hes not as affectionate, he doesnt help me plant my flowers, & he doesnt go to bed when I do. If youre not walking out the door, you are telling him that his behavior is acceptable. We just never did anything like that alone. We girls if determined, are so much more stronger than guys Angela. Leave some of his messages on read. if he told you he does not see a future with you, as hard as it is, you need to walk away now. It doesnt have to be a big, heavy relationship talk! 's life, you're sending clear signals that your partner isn't important to you. Im always the one asking him to do something, Im always planning my work schedules around his and swapping shifts etc I just feel like its so one sided sometimes. Then we signed our new real lease together and I dont know how we got where we got but he started getting lazy. What should I do? As well as this, I makes me question if he is speaking to other females behind my back again. I do far too many things for him. okay so how i try to avoid causing a scene over tht is i would comeover to his place, thts the only place he would be fine because if i ask him to meet me at my area or anywhr else he wouldnt want to. That same night, we agreed to date. When You Wish You Were Married: Comfort and Joy on Lonely Days. He just recently finally started being productive at home again, picking up where he left off over a year ago on unfinished started projects. at the same time, I am wondering why should i wait for him to initiate, why not agree that i pay half of the dinner since i am an independent woman who believes in equality. I just dont know what to do. Are you expecting more from your boyfriend than he can give? Hed say something really mean, watch my cry and if I asked to talk about it, Hed tell me why do we have to always talk about it or why cant you just drop it and not bring it up my favorite was Im not apologizing because Im not sorry, you just like making a big deal over nothing one time I asked about marriage (he took me to the red wood Forrest and asked me to marry him 2 years prior to this comment) he told me hed never marry a b**ch. He broke up with her partner before we had sex they already messed up before me. In fact, because you are so young, they will most likely find you when you least expect it. Im just about done with him. About 2 weeks or so after, I voiced my concerns again about his lack of effort in making quality time. Weve been dating a little over a year. I was in a similar situation when I was in college. I cant say no because if I do I feel like Im being lazy and letting them down, plus they get mad at me for saying no. When he isnt at work he shuts himself in the bedroom and plays games whilst I deal with the kids. I was the one who then initiated contact and although he has apologised he isnt making effort but says he cares for me and doesnt want to hurt me, Im starting to get frustrated about his lack of action still and dont know what to do! Fear of commitment/fear of pain (especially if engaging with you triggers those emotions that remind him of a past failed relationship). He asked me to come to his section I said no Ill stay w my friends. There could be many reasons why your partner is not showing you the affection you desire, and according to therapist, dating and relationship coach and former matchmaker Lauren Korshak, one major reason could be that they are suffering from a crisis. because that can be so self-fulfilling trust me). We do get a long very well and we are highly mature people. I feel like I could spend my life with him if it were not for one issue that has always popped up. Weve been together for 5 years. I am secretary saving money to leave. i simply dont understand this. He gets very quiet and is hard to talk to. We do not even live together and he puts no effort, and I think throughout the years it would get worse if we get married, or live together. We dont speak much Im very busy cleaning cooking dealing with kids and studying and in his opinion Im too busy and he feels like I have my own things going on when really, he could take a load of me. My brother did tell me that he may be going through some things in his personal life that he is not ready to share with me. (he was asked from her what are u doing, when she replied studying, he texted shall i come to study with u, and she replied there are my friends at my room, and he replied its k.no matter i ll come) But anyway after i saw it i lost my trust on him. Do you have an suggestions on what I should do? Im ready to forget everything he did to me and start to trust him.. Wht are the things i can do to bring back trust, spark, and energy to our relationship Please help me.. Thnk u so much. Antidepressents can be a good way to start on the road back to normal just to give you some emotional stability. I said I didnt think I could be in a relationship with him anymore because I was tired of being the one always doing the work and making an effort. I just dont understand why he refuses to accept how I feel. We had romantic dates and fell in love at first sight. ps. When I do, its the absolute bare minimum or just a bunch of excuses. He texts me every morning and night and we often text during the day. Its time to let him go, you did all you could. I want him to want to make things better instead of just making decisions that arent beneficial to the relationship or are just downright harmful to the relationship. Especially if you have a SON!! Be objective: how well do you know your boyfriend? I appreciated it still but it was all cheap and last minute, again lack of effort. If every word out of your mouth is an insult, a critique, or disparaging remark, He doesnt know how to express himself anymore. After that he chatted me that hes sorry he didnt give the money and I said im not accepting money for sex. Ive put my career aside to help him build his business. Nor the stress of my mothers battle with stage 4 cancer. I just now accidentally found this article and my rather lengthy comment. Which I know I do and Ive thought about sooooo much, but my problem is is that I actually cant imagine my life without him, hes been in it so deeply since we were 13/14 and I love him so much. Im in a similar situation. My issue lately is, he will tell me he will come to my house on Saturday after work, then later he will call and say he has to go get his dogs and pick them up. 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