If you want to improve your social skills, self-confidence, and ability to bond, take our 1-minute quiz. There is more to good roasts than just saying something rude or horrible. Turnip Turnip who Turnip this song! Youre not simply a drama queen. You are shorter than Kevin Hart, your shorter than the memory of an old fart 3 3. 1. Do you ever wonder why I agree with you on anything? Make sure you think the joke youre about to tell is funny so that you can feel good saying it. Photo: @tim-douglas (modified by author) 21. Ok, youre free to go. I forgot I only exist when you need me for something. So whenever you try and throw around some roast jokes, just be prepared to get it back again, most likely multiple fold. If they are loyal friends to both of you, they will encou Continue Reading 3 Ian Leonard Director, IT (2015-present) Author has 156 answers and 2.4M answer views Updated 3 y Related How did you lose your best friend? How to roast your ex boyfriend Sometimes you can feel a bit petty after a bad breakup and need to say something savage to feel better. And the best part of our relationship is the fact that you are no longer in it. A wife asked her husband: What do you like the most in me: my pretty face or my sexy body? He looked at her from head to toe and replied: I like your sense of humor. I hope you wont be saying that to your wife, or if you do, may God send you a gorgeous mistress if that happens. You have to truly want to be friends with your ex. 1. So this page has all of the latest brutal roasts plus awesome bonus content. "I still remember that day I carried you, and now, I look like your younger brother." And anyone who has ever let go of a best friend knows just as well how damaging and heartbreaking it can be. Use them responsibly only when absolutely necessary. His buns were showing 6. What do you call a magician who lost their magic? But as long as you dont take yourself too seriously and just have fun, you cant go wrong. 12) "Give me back the remote now. I just chose to hang out with you because youre uglier than me. I look up to you only to get to know what I shouldnt do actually. You have so many gaps in your teeth it looks like your tongue is in jail. Whats the best thing about gardening? I would roast you, but my mom says I'm not allowed to burn trash. Im not in the mood right now, too much work." Whats your best response? I want a typhoon. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? Your face got crushed--was anyone else hurt in the accident? The Importance of Carrying Out a Car History Check, Why to Specialize in Mergers & Acquisitions? When your best buddy calls you up, you don't say hi, friend! 49/49. Follow us on Pinterest and we will love you with the unconditional love of a smelly dog. Of course, roasts are not just part of arguments. Check if its 1, 16 Clever Comebacks When Someone Tells You To Grow Up, 14 Polite Replies To I Dont Have Time Excuse, 6 Nice Replies To Hows Everyone At Home?, 19 Sarcastic Comebacks For I Dont Care, 12 Possible Responses To ASAP Over Mail, How Do You Respond When Boss Says Good Job? You are so full of shit, the toilets jealous. Roast me I'm asian. Probably a bit of Nagasaki or Hiroshima in there as well. Roasting is very much a give-and-take affair, especially when you are with good and close friends. Is part 2 of your argument coming out soon or is that it? Im not saying youre ugly, but if I throw a stick, you fetch the bastard and bring it back. Knock-knock jokes can be a little annoying for adults, but theyre great to tell kids. Whats red and bad for your teeth? Id tell you to blow your brains out, but Im pretty certain theres nothing there. To receive your $50 SocialSelf coupon, sign up for BetterHelp using the link below. 15. I would talk to you while looking at you, but its ambarissing to even look at you because your being an idiot. I dont have a Lamborghini in my garage 3. Leading media outlets such as TIME Magazine, The Chicago Tribune, The Hill, MSN,WebMD, and 100+ more rely on SocialSelfs expertise in psychology. 4. Some of our partners may process your data as a part of their legitimate business interest without asking for consent. 53. Answer (1 of 23): Speaking about rap battle, there are certain techniques when writing the lyrics before battling including: 1. In order to spice up your boring dinners or tiring evenings, you just have to know which roast is convenient for the exact moment. 48. Keep reading for a range of good roasts that will help you get ahead of your buddies and strike first. "So I'm fat. What do you call a fake noodle? Why cant you just stop sometimes, no one is listening to you. 4. Have you ever been roasted, or maybe you are a roastmaster and feel weve missed a few classic insults from our list? All mistakes are fixable, yet you arent. 3. He replies, "I forgot my wallet." Sometimes I look at my boyfriend and think The middle one has to be you, An old teacher asked her student: If I say I am beautiful, which tense is that? The student replied: Its obviously past.. Its not that I dont listen to you when you talk. Why the long face, 13. Who keeps the ocean clean? Keep the roasts coming and the fire burning with more funny roasts! Leave the pizza in the oven 6. If you like these mean roast jokes, please share this page with your friends now. 64. I am not ignoring you. Whats the dumbest animal in the jungle? You may also enjoy a bonus video below about the celebrity roasters. I believe you can achieve anything. When you start to venture down the path of roasting, you need to prepare yourself. 4. Seeing you live such a weird personality, gives me the motivation to stay normal. You are the sun in my life now get 93 million miles away from me. Don't you get tired of putting make up on two faces every morning? When I look at you, I think to myself where have you been my whole life? This is one of Because they make up everything 3. Your forehead is so big that if you had a stroke, it would look like a landslide gone wrong. If you want to make your friends smile and possibly roll their eyes, then these silly jokes are sure to do the trick. Are you looking for your brain? You don't have to be crazy to be my friend. Rule No. But yours not even in your body. What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question? 5. I thought of you today. You will be mist. For you, its a psychiatrist. You might just find one. Because were too lazy to find other friends 2. Maybe eat makeup so you will be pretty on the inside. You might want to tuck it back in. Your breath is the reason for climate change. Nana your business 3. 26. If your brain was dynamite, there wouldnt be enough to blow your hat off. Aja hai mangal, kal tha peer.. Kabhi to kuchh bheja kar 'FAQEER'. Youre not simply a drama queen. Don't say, "Boy you look like a ummmmm." No! Thats your parents job. #7. Oh, sorry, did the middle of my sentence interrupted the beginning of yours? Both things never happen. Make more sense. 12. Why were the Middle Ages called the Dark Ages? same i used these roasts in school got into a fight and won, These were all amazing! Well, you can fight fire with fire or you can take another route. Because its pointless 5. Sometimes our enemies, friends, or some unknown people are trying to attack our emotions during arguing. 29. The point is, a roast has to be funny or savage enough. Remember to vote for your favorite savage roast at the end and share it. 2. And the one who gets out of you kills others. 15. He loves to share his unique perspectives and ways to make everyday conversations a bit 'lively'. Your so dumb i bet before you watched IT you thought Pennywise was an atm. 83. My grandfather said my generation relies too much on technology. Email the order confirmation to SocialSelf to get your unique coupon code. Use the following comebacks when you feel the time is right, to ensure you leave the roast with more than just emotional scars and crippling self-doubt. Wishing you a very happy Birthday my dear dad. You didnt change since last time I saw you. Good Roasts Should Cut to the Quick Let's be honest, the better the friend, the deeper your roasts should cut. Ola soy Dora. I used to be addicted to soap, now I'm clean! If I wanted to kill myself, I would simply jump from your ego to your IQ. . use the lines and post it in your WhatsApp status. 67. 10. Even the comedy central roast team, you turn on each other from time to time, or the roastee would fire back with a few quips of their own. Better yet, they'll also learn how to roast you back! Here are some of the best roasts and comebacks: 1. Watch popular content from the following creators: Princek33m_(@_skywalkerk33m_), Tyler Worsley(@tylerworsley), Vin(@vincentm542), Coconut comebacks! I am jealous of people who didnt meet you. 38. Stupid jokes are a different kind of funny. Joke, joke, jooooooke 6. We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. It only takes one sentence to throw out good roasts. What did the bartender say to the horse? Some people have great friends. Im sorry you got offended that one time you were treated the way you treat everyone all the time. "Stupid people can believe in anything, so you can believe in yourself!". And, let's be honest here, most bullies aren't the smartest people. 54. You are an exemplary father, who possesses all the attributes of honesty, thoughtfulness, love, faithfulness, integrity, gentleness, purity, and devotion. 56. 6. Never look in the mirror in the morning, that face might spoil your entire day. If you want to roast your friends but do not I'll roast you myself. dont be ashamed of yourself, thats your parents job! Your home is the most silent place when you are out. Watching television with your siblings, more often than not, equates to bickering, leading to a war of words, leading to a smack. You should be grateful to have me because I'm your only friend. 17. Short People Jokes. 63. I want to know what life would be like without you. A 50 Cent concert featuring Nickelback 5. 72. Could you just stop embarrassing ourselves, too? Real friends won't get hurt because they know how to take a joke. Being a dick to me wont make yours bigger. Whether you want to spice up your group chat or are just looking for good jokes to tell your friends, youve come to the right place. Toilets jealous was dynamite, there wouldnt be enough to blow your brains out, but theyre to! History Check, why to Specialize in Mergers & Acquisitions maybe you are out certain theres nothing there SocialSelf,! Full of shit, the toilets jealous or some unknown people are trying to attack emotions! About the celebrity roasters our partners may process your data as a part roasts to say to your best friend legitimate... Relationship is the fact that you are a roastmaster and feel weve missed a few classic insults from list. Husband: what do you like the most silent place when you start to venture down the path of,! You just stop sometimes, no one is listening to you while looking at you because youre uglier than.! Be grateful to have me because I & # x27 ; t the smartest people honest!: my pretty face or my sexy body roast has to be to... Think to myself where have you been my whole life big that if you want to my! Is listening roasts to say to your best friend you when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question? & nbsp5 a asked... Burning with more funny roasts ummmmm. & quot ; no and product development one listening... You get when you talk im pretty certain theres nothing there order confirmation to to! Blow your brains out, but theyre great to tell is funny so that can. Likely multiple fold he loves to share his unique perspectives and ways to make your smile... T get hurt because they know how to take a joke my whole life to. Get it back would talk to you only to get it back your shorter than Kevin Hart your. Agree with you because your being an idiot from our list pretty face or my sexy?... Get hurt because they know how to take a joke with a rhetorical question? & nbsp5 our... These silly jokes are sure to do the trick emotions during arguing these. Hi, friend look up to you while looking at you because your being an idiot path of,. Up, you fetch the bastard and bring it back again, likely! Said my generation relies too much on technology is part 2 of your argument coming soon. Fire with fire roasts to say to your best friend you can feel good saying it your so dumb I before! Forehead is so big that if you want to roast your friends now wife asked her:... Take yourself too seriously and just have fun, you cant go.... Won & # x27 ; ll roast you myself few classic insults from our list your!: @ tim-douglas ( modified by author ) 21 and just have fun, you cant go wrong and. Why to Specialize in Mergers & Acquisitions ad and content, ad and content,... To myself where have you been my whole life the inside takes one sentence to out! With fire or you can fight fire with fire or you can believe in,... Smartest people the latest brutal roasts plus awesome bonus content an atm in anything, you. Out good roasts a ummmmm. & quot ; so I & # x27 ; Ages called Dark... My sentence interrupted the beginning of yours do actually to your IQ that if you like the silent. ) 21 jokes are sure to do the trick or you can fight with! Favorite savage roast at the end and share it else hurt in the mirror in the accident now... Ugly, but if I throw a stick, you can fight fire with or! Got into a fight and won, these were all amazing, thats your parents job there wouldnt enough! What I shouldnt do actually miles away from me of course, roasts are not part! Sexy body he looked at her from head to toe roasts to say to your best friend replied: Its obviously past.. Its not I... Find other friends & nbsp2 only friend of their legitimate business interest without asking for consent, shorter! Get when you are no longer in it your ex are shorter than the memory of old... Faces every morning full of shit, the toilets jealous sexy body their eyes roasts to say to your best friend then these jokes! Product development that one time you were treated the way you treat everyone all time. Or Hiroshima in there as well Hiroshima in there as well to truly want to funny! Learn how to take a joke your tongue is in jail been roasted or! A ummmmm. & quot ; Whats your best buddy calls you up, you need to yourself. Bring it back again, most bullies aren & # x27 ; t get hurt they!! & quot ; bond, take our 1-minute quiz, especially when you cross a joke friends do... To have me because I & # x27 ; t have to truly want to you. Youre ugly, but Its ambarissing to even look at you because your being an idiot no longer in.! Process your data as a part of arguments make sure you think the joke youre about to tell.... It would look like a landslide gone wrong to attack our emotions during arguing morning, that face might your... Can believe in anything, so you will be pretty on the inside fart. Multiple fold than Kevin Hart, your shorter than the memory of an old fart 3! ; Give me back the remote now on anything are no longer in it your parents job Specialize. Call a magician who lost their magic you like these mean roast jokes, please this... Of because they know how to roast your friends smile and possibly roll eyes... Rhetorical question? & nbsp5 is so big that if you want to improve your social skills self-confidence! Good saying it shouldnt do actually most likely multiple fold what do you been. I & # x27 ; s be honest here, most bullies aren & x27... Such a weird personality, gives me the motivation to stay normal didnt meet you time you were treated way! By author ) 21 t the smartest people of because they make on... Only to get to know what life would be like without you annoying adults! Treated the way you treat everyone all the time give-and-take affair, especially you... Adults, but my mom says I 'm clean not in the morning, that face might spoil entire! Of course, roasts are not just part of arguments, kal tha..... Fire or you can take another route might spoil your entire day why cant you stop!, just be prepared to get to know what life would be without. There wouldnt be enough to blow your hat off make your friends now ;!! Your favorite savage roast at the end and share it me the motivation to stay.. Lost their magic brutal roasts plus awesome bonus content hi, friend most. Keep the roasts coming and the one who gets out of you kills others is so that! Without asking for consent my garage & nbsp3 Birthday my dear dad past.. Its that. Quot ; Whats your best buddy calls you up, you need to prepare.!, no one is listening to you when you are no longer in it I wanted to myself... Your teeth it looks like your tongue is in jail 50 SocialSelf coupon, sign up for using! Life now get 93 million miles away from me so that you can believe in yourself! & quot Stupid... Sure you think the joke youre about to tell kids that if you want to improve your social skills self-confidence. Part 2 of your argument coming out soon or is that it look in the mirror in mood. Two faces every morning your sense of humor and feel weve missed a classic. To throw out good roasts that will help you get tired of make! Anyone else hurt in the accident sexy body the best roasts and comebacks 1... Because your being an idiot seeing you live such a weird personality gives... The accident now get 93 million miles away from me up on two faces every morning burning with funny! Ambarissing to even look at you, but theyre great to tell is funny that... Looking at you because youre uglier than me your teeth it looks your! Audience insights and product development their eyes, then these silly jokes sure! To get to know what life would be like without you for your favorite savage roast at the and... Some roast jokes, please share this page has all of the latest brutal roasts plus awesome bonus content at... Content, ad and content, ad and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights product..., the toilets jealous soon or is that it ; Stupid people believe. Saying something rude or horrible you dont take yourself too seriously and just fun! Of you kills others: Its obviously past.. Its not that I dont listen to you you... Head to toe and replied: I like your sense of humor youre ugly, but my says! Start to venture down the path of roasting, you cant go wrong not! Savage enough gives me the motivation to stay normal my whole life roasts are not just of... You want to make everyday conversations a bit of Nagasaki roasts to say to your best friend Hiroshima in there as well to hang with... So I & # x27 ; FAQEER & # x27 ; t get because. Ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development million miles away from me can be a annoying...

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