Both goals and visions are deliberate choices we make in an attempt to define the direction of our lives. However, some people feel that they have no choice and that life is something that just happens to them.
While it may be true that there are things beyond our direct control, the choices we make when those apparently haphazard events occur is a critical deciding factor in whether we are happy or miserable.
Aristotle defined choice as “deliberate desire” with the heart providing the passion and the head, the reason. When we make decisions based solely on logic, they lack meaning and seem vacuous.
On the other hand, choices based solely on desire can lack real power and seem like mere whim. So, what kind of choices will support us in achieving a happy and successful life? When we are presented with a choice, do we ask, “Which direction will make me happiest?”
That was exactly what Rick Foster and Greg Hicks began to ask back in the mid-nineties. As corporate leadership consultants, traveled from one Fortune 500 company to another, they observed a common theme of destructive levels of stress in the corporate workplace.
But, as they tell it, “Every once in a while we would stumble across a few unusual people who stood out from the crowd. They seemed to live in a different world from the rest of us.
Regardless of the problems swirling around them, they moved through life with a grace, warmth, and vigor that was both alluring and mysterious. There was only one way to describe them: extremely happy.”
Based on this observation, Rick and Greg shifted gears and focused their attention on profoundly happy people, in their jobs and in every aspect of their lives. So began a three-year voyage of in-depth interviews with extraordinary people from the back roads of Mississippi to the boulevards of Budapest.
What they uncovered was astounding. Rich or poor, black or white, married or single, old or young, happy people all had something in common: everyone of them created happiness by making the same nine choices!
Their research and the nine choices went into their book How We Choose to Be Happy. Briefly, thenine steps to choosing happiness are as follows:
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Intention – Make an active choice and commitment to being happy.
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Accountability – Refuse to blame others or view yourself as a victim. Assume personal responsibility for your actions, thoughts and feelings.
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Identification – Look deep within and find out what makes you happy. Make a distinction between what you feel and what others say should make you happy.
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Centrality – Insist on making those things that bring you happiness central to your life.
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Recasting – Transform stressful problems and trauma into something meaningful, important, and a source of emotional energy.
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Options – Approach life by creating multiple scenarios. Be open to new possibilities and adopt a flexible style to your life’s journey.
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Appreciation – Savor your life and enjoy the people around you. Stay in the present by viewing each experience as something precious.
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Giving – Share yourself with friends, family and community. Give to the world at large without expecting anything in return.
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Truthfulness – Make a choice to be honest with yourself and others.
Every day we are faced with other people’s behavior and challenging situations. We can choose how to respond. In that moment—which lasts a mere fraction of a second—we can choose thoughts and feelings that cause pain, or armed with the nine steps to happiness, we can choose another way of being.
When we assume full personal responsibility for our actions, thoughts and feelings, small daily choices we make will move us towards our greater vision and open up a whole new way to be, think and live. And, at last, we have chosen what we ultimately desire: a richer and happier life for ourselves.
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